What do I say when I am distressed, but not in need of pity?
What do I say when I have to answer a question but I know if I open my mouth in that moment I will have regrets?
What do I say when I want to highlight something without embarrassing someone?
How do I comfort a depressed friend when I do not know what to say?
What do I say?
Words are one of the most powerful things. They have the power to build up and break down. Words have the power to create and destroy.
Words appear in so many formats:
Speech is one of the most universal forms of communication. With the rise of technology, the visually impaired are able to read, the hearing and speech impaired are able to speak with their hands, people from different nations are able to speak in each other’s language.
No longer is language a barrier to communicating effectively.
Yet with all the developments around us we still do not know what to say.
Everyday we are presented with situations that require us to be able to ‘colour’ our speech so it can accomplish a particular task and so often many of us fail. One word can lead to a missed opportunity, a broken heart a destroyed friendship, a huge misunderstanding.
The fact that we are unable to read the thoughts of our associates, adds to the difficulty in effective communication. Words are interpreted differently based on the listener.
Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Empathetic behaviour is a key to using words effectively.
Put on the other person’s skin and walk around in it
That is empathy and that is key in keeping charge of your sanity when the daily challenge of effective communication is presented.
Truth is defined as being in accordance with fact or reality.
Nowadays, truth is usually harsh or reveals a terrible secret. Truth is not always what we want to hear or suits our tastes.
Truth is like the yearly dose of Cod Liver Oil or a dinner of vegetables (not for me, I love veg😉); you do not enjoy it but it is good for you.
Truth is rare like the antidote for a snake bite in a remote area. It is very difficult to find someone who speaks the truth, unedited and plain, no matter what.
If we are being honest with our selves we have at some point done some amount of embellishment to the truth so that it fits our purpose.
How often are we caught in situations where we omit or imply something from the whole truth then say it was a “little white lie”? How often have we been asked to raise a a hand if we know who committed a particular grievance and sat still as a statue?
There is nothing little or white about lies. Lies are deviations from the truth in any form.
They are all lies.
In reality the truth is sometimes the hardest thing to say. Face it, telling the truth sometimes puts us in a position to be punished or cause someone’s punishment. No one likes being the final weight in the balance, the one whom all the pressure is on to decide another person’s fate.
Lies come easily. It is easier to say “I did not…” when something is at stake rather than owning up.
However, it takes a strong person, a well-rounded individual, an honest person to own up to wrongs or mistakes. In the end, these are the persons who are able to sleep well at night as they have no nagging from their conscience, who have nothing to remember and need no creativity in speech because they spoke the truth, and can look anyone in the eye with no qualms that some terrible secret may be revealed.
One of the biggest favours one could ever do himself is speaking the truth, no matter what.
“Fine” when referring to feelings means satisfactory.
Some say that the biggest lie a human tells is that they are fine. The phrase “I’m fine” falls from the lips of many of those whom we claim to be close to, whenever they are asked how they are feeling. Being “just fine” is not a lie.
Being fine speaks of a person being battered, undergoing struggles that should weigh them down, feeling depressed, barely alive – yet still standing. “Fine is a simpler way of saying “I’ll be okay soon, it’s just a phase…a temporary situation” Fine is the only thing we can be when there are no other words to express our feelings. When we know that inside we are crumbling and weak, when everything seems to be crashing down on us – the only way to explain the tumultuous thoughts and haywire emotions is through that little four letter word.
Today I want to be more than fine. I want to be happy. This takes tons of work. To be happy, we have to get rid of all the things that weigh us down and prevent smiles from forming on our faces. Some of these things are more easily accomplished than others as some unhappy situations have to be grown out of. Happiness is the ultimate goal in life. Whether it is getting to heaven, getting a degree, a good job or an award for something we have done, ultimately happiness, fulfilment and satisfaction are the things we expect and seek in life.
But until I can reply with a truthful and confident “I’m happy,” fine is good enough for me.
Through experiences we learn to not let anything shock us anymore. People will change or will do what they were always capable of doing. Judging by appearances will only lead to disappointment as we may not only overlook strengths but also flaws.
Nothing and no one is perfect. We may try to attain perfection but in the end we only succeed in portraying a likeness of perfection.
People are like serpents; cunning and deceitful. We as human beings are like chameleons. We constantly change, sometimes reluctantly others willing and even unknowingly certain behavioural patterns seep in and slowly invade our own without our knowledge.
As humans, constantly seek out the flaws in others without recognizing the ones in ourselves. We only wish to make our side of the story beautiful by any means necessary. It is unwise to judge people as only they know what they are capable of and are willing to do.
Many of us wear masks. Either one that conceals our flaws, helps us to fit in or even displays an ugly side of us with which we are not satisfied. There comes a time, however, when we must remove our disguises and stand with all our secrets bared for the world to see.
Our enemies can end up being our strongest and most vocal allies. The people we trust and hold dearest to our hearts, sometimes betray us and they are the ones with the ability to hurt us. People are as changeable as time and weather.
A solid foundation can be built on nothing but self-reliance and self-esteem.